Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
