Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
