im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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