THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
