checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
