Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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