when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
The beer is more important than you right now.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
