I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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