he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
