a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
