This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
