1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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