The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
