remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
