No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
