You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
