The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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