Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
