I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
