I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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