is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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