So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize