hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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