he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
