And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
