Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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