I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
