i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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