After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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