Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
