Have you finally orgasmed yet?
We named our party play list daddy issues
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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