Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just gift wrapped bread.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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