I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize