We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
