Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize