Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
