just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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