how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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