that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
