and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
