Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
