I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
