I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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