Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
