do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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