How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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