So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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