i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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