i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
