If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
