White coat. Heels.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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