just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
