i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
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Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
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I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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