Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
