He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
