This girl is more easily done than said...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
