She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
