Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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