Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
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I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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