doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
