She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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