We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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